dreadthedays

Looking Forward to all the tiny hats feedback!!!

To you who already know the story of my medical crap you can skip the first paragraph other wise it is important to understand the procedure. Enough people ahve asked that I explain so I opted to not have to mail it 20 times.


Over the past 10 years I have had many surgeries to remove cysts from my body. I had my first surgery on my Wrist when I was 19. Then, then I was 21we found out I have endometriosis and I had a lap surgery to remove the tissue growing in my abdomen at an apparently rapid rate. Then when I was 22 I had surgery on my back to remove a pilonidal cyst. The excision was 7x5 inches. At the same time I had a cyst removed from my labia Majora, called a Bartholin cyst. They diagnosed me as "cystic". A few years later it became aware that I had MRSA. I had cysts all over my body from the time I was 12 until now. They vary in severity but most can be cared for at home. Over the past two years I have been aware of a ovarian cyst that was supposed to go away on its own and seemed to be just sitting there. Because there no increase no decrease in size the doctors opted to leave it there. It has caused me much pain and irregularities. This year it went from the size of a pea to the resemblance in shape and size of a large Kiwi. The problem is that I lost my left tube in a 5 month tubal four years ago. It happened right after my back surgery. It caused me to have frequent PID infections. When they did the tests to see if I had abnormalities in cell structure they found ASCUS which is a type of warning might-be-cancer cells.


    I am having a four  (wtf) part procedure. The first part will be a lap and a D&C to clean out the Uterus and look for fibroids which can make a positive ASCUS result. They will then burn away the endometriosis they find. After that they will remove the cyst from the overy. They then need to repair the tube if needed and of not they have to shoot dye through it to make sure the tube is functional. It will take several hours and I have to stay two or three days depending on the assessment. If they need to they might have to do a laparotomy which is kind of like a c section in case the procedure requires more arm room. I know that was long but its hard to explain.


The results...

A lack of a huge cyst, A fixed tube and a diagnosis for the frequent infections, Less painful endo tissue, Painless sex?.. maybe I don't know yet.. I am scared about that part because I am seriously used to it. A few more sweet scars? I will know if I can naturally reproduce or -for that matter- at all. If  they find fibroids, as suspected, I have to have another procedure after I am healed to remove them.

Much of the terms I use because I have dealt with it for so long. I don't mind. It's actually nice to talk about it.

Tomorrow morning I will know when I must go. I am seriously terrified. I think I have never been so terrified in my entire life. I want children so bad you guys that it shakes my entire foundation and effects me to the bone. I feel breathless at times... I have been crying uncontrollably. I can't help it. The thought of never being able to experience what I loved and lost is breaking me slowly. I miss my child and wanted nothing more than the chance to do it again and hold and love and be there.... wtf...

Short notice... Surgery has been scheduled for Monday the 6th of August.